Saturday, March 25, 2006

THE APOCHRYPHAL GOSPEL OF W

Editor's note by Enlightenment
At Coalition we like to kid around from time to time. With that in mind I'd like to end the week on a humorous note before I come back on Monday. With that in mind, please allow me to offer...

THE APOCRYPHAL GOSPEL OF W

Some of you may or may not have noticed that the Bush Administration and its core group of supporters are apparently using an alternative version of the King James Bible with which most of us are unfamiliar.


After weeks of investigation I have finally found this rather unusual, thought-provoking, and often controversial volume. Ironically enough, it was discovered in an abandoned outhouse near the Bush, photo-op ranch near Crawford Texas along side the stained pages of a legitimate King James Bible on which Bush and his pseudo Christian followers have been wiping their neo-theocratic rectums for the past six years and three months.


Initially I suspected that Bush might have written this delusional volume by himself, but upon discovering that the lurid 1300 page text contained no misspelled words, I decided that a person who could not remember the first book he had ever read probably wouldn't have had the intellectual ability to write one.


To give you an idea as to the basic world view in the Bush bastardization of Christianity, we have included a few representative quotations from the apocryphal "The Gospel of W." Ironically, this particular Gospel seems to have a counterpart in Matthew, Chapter 5, specifically the Beatitudes, although the "Gospel of W" is clearly unrelated to any form of Christianity that a normal, fully-evolved human being might find inspiring .


Consider the following passage, Chapter 5, verses 1-11:


Seeing the cameras, Bush went up on Capital Hill and when he sat down his Cabinet came to him. And he opened his mouth and indoctrinated them.


"Blessed are the decadent who speak falsely about morals for they shall be trusted by the ignorant, gullible masses.


"Blessed are those who cause grief for they shall be feared and obeyed.


"Blessed are the rich and the powerful for they shall receive tax cuts.


"Blessed are those who crave and thirst power for they shall be the sons of a Bush.


"Blessed are the cruel for they shall be racists and homophobes.


"Blessed are the corrupt in heart for they shall write Republican economic policy.


"Blessed are the warmongers and the sociopaths for they shall direct Republican foreign policy.


"Blessed are those who persecute in the name of hate for they shall write Republican social policy.


"Blessed are you when you torture and torment. Rejoice and be glad for your reward is in the President's Cabinet, for so the narrow minded have repressed the weak and the vulnerable before you..."


Later in Chapter 5, verses 17-19 we find similar passages.


Think not that I have come to uphold the Amendments. I have come not to uphold them but to abolish them. For truly I say to you, that the Constitution shall not remain untouched while I reign supreme. Whoever protects the least of these statutes and teaches men so shall be carried away by the CIA, but he who undermines them and who obeys without question my very will, shall be called great on the Bush Supreme Court.


Passages such as these indicate quite clearly that the Bush Administration has adopted a policy of strict Social Darwinism and redefined it as "Christian" for purposes of public consumption. Those who wish to read an honest description of the Bush Administration and its basic philosophy without the Orwellian Christian rhetoric are encouraged to find an old copy of Anton LaVey's Satanic Bible.








1 comment:

Lew Scannon said...

Yes those who wish to banish Darwin from our schools have no problem implementing it as a social policy.