Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Dear President Bush,

The CEO and Board of Directors of The Shaft Oil Company would like to thank you for your past support of our corporation

As you well know, our Board and CEO are dedicated to profit above all else, but in recent years even we have become concerned about the possibility of a dwindling oil supply. We, like you, believe that it is our duty to prop up this ill-fated industry until such time as we deplete the oil supply and addict the American people to an alternative source of nonrenewables

To that end we are submitting a series of bills to both, the House of Representatives and the United States Congress. As in the past, they have been written by individuals in our legal and accounting departments, with little to no thought about consumers or the environment. Please make certain that the bills in question are proposed in the exact forms that our attorneys have written them. And, if it isn't too inconvenient, please try to keep these bills out of the public spotlight for as long as possible. The idea here is to avoid debate and discussion. Open debate and discussion might actually involve the American people, and since it is their pockets that we will be picking, and their lives that we will be endangering, they might not approve of our overall policy of "fleece now and never worry."

In other words, we would be highly, highly, appreciative if the matter were discussed in a smoke-filled back room at 2:00 to 4:00 in the morning, when measures such as this are more likely to escape the scrutiny of the very liberal media. We have done our utmost to use language that is both deceptive and Orwellian, in effect deceiving the American consumer for whom we have no respect at all, but one can't be too careful.

Please allow us to summarize the contents of our new energy proposals.

1. The Shaft Oil Company will receive subsidies for oil--even after the last drop has been drained from the planet of the earth and subsequently consumed by our customers. Said subsidies, like your very generous tax cuts, shall be made permanent.

2. As alternative nonrenewable sources of energy (such as coal and natural gas) supplement and replace oil, we will demand governmental subsidies for these products as well.

3. During our search for alternative, nonrenewable sources, the Shaft Oil Company demands immunity from lawsuits which might result from our irresponsible actions. To that end we demand, that the federal government abolish any law or regulation which might protect workers in both, the fossil fuel and nuclear industries.

4. When nonrenewable sources eventually prove obsolete, the Shaft Energy Company will purchase up to 51 percent interest in the sun, the wind, and ocean currents, or in any other force of nature which might eventually prove useful in the production of energy. As an extra protection we would propose legislation legalizing a broad variety of monopolies, said legislation to be referred to as the "Energy Diversification Act."

5. To avoid the cost intensive expenses associated with the construction of nuclear power plants, we would request the importation of illegal, immigrant workers from the following countries: Mexico, China, India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, the United Arab Emirates, Syria, and Iran.

6. To perpetuate the current state of oligarchy, we would also like to see an elimination of any state or federal statute which might prevent us from personally funding the election of any candidate at the local, country, state, or federal level.

7. We would also ask that future Republican Administrations limit their cabinet employees to those individuals who are serving either as CEOs or on Boards of directors.

8. We would be most appreciative if the Republican Congress would grant Corporations the right to cast votes in local, county, state, and federal elections. Considering the fact that we are large entities which hold a great deal of power and financial resources, we believe the number of votes we might be allowed to cast should reflect both, the number of employees we downsize and our corporate profits. The more individuals we downsize and the greater the profit margin, the more votes an individual corporation would be able to cast. Our legal department suggests that each qualifying corporation would be allowed to contribute a minimum of one million votes; said votes to be distributed from Corporate headquarters in as many races and in as many districts as the corporation sees fit.

9. The Shaft Energy Company requests the right to appoint or buy at least one vacancy on the United States Supreme Court. Please note that we have not asked for the right to purchase elected officials, said officials having already been bought and paid for.

10. We would ask that funding be directed from the Energy Assistance Program to provide us with another tax cut. As you know, many of our Directors are struggling at a mere $20 million per year before they cheat on their taxes. We realize this might cause untold misery or even unforeseen deaths among the lower and middle classes, but our research department believes that these unfortunate individuals can still be made to serve society through our new soylent green Technology.

Thank you for your time and attention

I. M. Buckgrabber
CEO Shaft Oil Corporation

PS. Enclosed is the agreed upon kick back for your past services, paid as usual in tens, twenties, and Mad Magazines.


I. M. Buckgrabber
CEO, Shaft Oil Corporation

Monday, February 27, 2006


For some bizarre reason, some naive individuals have decided to give Corporate America a free pass on the culture war. Admittedly, there was a time when I myself thought that this particular constituency was open minded when it came to the issue of gay rights--including gay marriage and gay adoption.

But after talking to a number of friends, I have come to the conclusion that Corporate America is as much to blame for the culture war and the rising hatred against gays and lesbians as the religious reactionaries have been. Less obvious, but just as guilty.

I know, I know. There are are several open-minded corporations out there which offer benefits to gay partners and gay families, but I now realize that this is little more than window dressing.
At a first glance it appears as if many corporations have adopted a tolerant, even accepting attitude towards Gays and Lesbians. More than 2,162 American employers have implemented nondiscrimination policies in the area of sexual orientation; approximately 4,463 offer health insurance benefits to the domestic partners of their employees. Some of the most gay-friendly corporations include: American Express, Walt Disney, Microsoft, Lucent Technologies, Xerox, IBM, Hewlet-Packard, Apple Computers, AMR , and Citigroup. Even Wal Mart has given lip service to the idea pf equal opportunity for gays and lesbians--the opportune words being "lip service. " Despite pressure from right wing religious groups, advertising in gay media increased by an astounding 28 percent in 2005.
Good news, right?
Well...In some ways yes and in some ways no.
There are still corporations which openly and unashamedly discriminate against gays and lesbians. There are still states in which it is legal to fire someone based on their sexual orientation. And to make the situation even more complicated, Corporate America--even the most "enlightened of corporations-- appear less than consistent when it comes to gays and lesbians.
I would be a lot more convinced as to the sincerity of corporate America if it were to stop playing both ends against the middle.
When they want gay talent in the work place, when they want to sell products and services to the gay cmmunity, they talk one way. But when they want to grab the entire economic pie and leave a few measly crumbs for the lower and middle classes they send in the Christian Right to carry the proverbial water for them.
We've seen it before.
With a pivotal election on the horizon a Republican State Legislature wastes little time it proposes an anti-gay marriage amendment to the state constitution. And what does corporate America do? After creating a false impression tolerance, and acceptance they let the Christian Right to the dirty work which they are too cowardly or gutless to do for themselves. They jump for joy, oblivious to the fact that the very benefits they offer might well be challenged in court under the State constitutions that the Christian Right is promoting. The hypocrisy here is nothing less than mind boggling. On the one hand corporations tell gays and lesbians that they want and need them as workers and customers. But then, on the other hand, they undermine the marital rights and economic benefits which might make gays and lesbians better citizens, workers, and consumers.
And for what?
Profit. Or to be blunt, thirty pieces of silver.
I'm glad corporate America is offering partnership benefits to gay and lesbian employees. I'm glad that they want me for a customer and that some of them are willing to advertise in gay media. I'm thrilled by the idea that there are corporations out there who seek the talent and expertise of gay and lesbian citizens.
Now if Corporate America would only put little things like equality and civil liberties over the bottom line. But then again, who said Corporate America was in any way to loyal to anything except a quick buck?

Saturday, February 25, 2006


In many ways the example set by Salman Rusdie provides a splendid--and frankly, superior--  alternative to the fear-mongering which has been oozing out of Washington DC since 911.

Shortly after the Ayatollah placed a price on Rushdie's head, the author went into seclusion and surrounded himself with security. Two years later, the author realized that this was no way to live and he now takes a few precautions and travels in the open with little regard for his personal safety.
Call it foolish.  Call it reckless.  But in the end Salman Rushdi provides an example which is a lot more normal and a lot more courageous than  the  example provided by the Bush Regime since 911. 
After 911 Bush told us to be observant, go shopping, and go about our every day lives.   Would that he had  actually meant it. Sadly for us and the country as a whole,  the Regime in Washington learned early that hate and fear are motivating emotions, and since that time they have missed no opportunity to exploit both, the dark side of the human psyche and the tragedy that was 911.

Prior to 911,  the Christian Right (which claimed to distrust the power of the federal government), also assured us that there was a Jesus in Heaven and that all we had to do to get there was to lose our grip on reality and join their expanding, theocratic movement.  

That, however,  was before 911.  After 911 the so called "Christian Right" wasted little time as it ran to the federal government for protection, essentially reversing its previous stand as it bellowed something to the effect of: "evil federal government, please, PLEASE ,save our disingenuous hides so we won't have to put this Jesus rhetoric to an actual test!" 
True to form, the  Bush Regime in Washington was only too happy to comply. What can I say? For people who seem so certain that they'll die and go to a better place, the Radical Right Wing Christians seem rather reluctant when it comes to putting their courage where their  conniving, overactive mouths have been:  none of which  bothers George W. Bush who  has  thrived  in a climate of fear. Indeed, he isn't only a sufferer; he's a carrier; he spreads fear as if it were a political bubonic plague.

When there's an bad news cycle, he gives us  another terrorist alert. If the war is devolving into a blood bath he  just goes orange.   If someone  speaks truth to power, he just exploits 911 and the victims of that tragedy. If there's a Constitutional provision which needs trampling on, he cultivates insecurity, and his obedient , heel-clicking supporters will beg, roll over, and play dead on command.

The only problem with all of this is that while Bush claims he wants to save our lives, no one asks the obvious question.

Save our lives for what?

So that we can grovel in fear and terror whenever the Demander and Thief wants to play upon our fears for selfish, political motives?     So that we can go through life afraid, but never quite living it to its fullest possible potential?   What Bush offers is not living. It is existing,  and I refuse to merely exist.

I'm diabetic.  People are amazed when I inform them about this.  They just look at me, and assume that I'm young and healthy, but the truth of the matter is that I have a disease which requires constant monitoring.  If I were to find myself in a situation where I can't test myself and  administer the required medication I could die.
Do I let this mother me?


I do not let the disease control my life. I take certain precautions. I exercise; I watch my diet; I give myself the required bloods sugar tests; I take my medication and I take it on time. Fear does not have to be a regular part of my daily routine. Nor do I allow it to do so.   I do  not claim to be brave.   I don't claim to be anything except pragmatic when it comes to the ongoing treatment and control of my diabetes. 

Life is to be lived and that's what I'm doing with it.   I not only expect to live a long and productive life; I fully intend to be a happy camper in the process. I control the diabetes.   Aside from a few minor precautions, I enjoy the same things that my non-diabetic friends do. And if by some chance something goes terribly wrong and this condition really does kill me,  at least my friends will be able to say that I enjoyed my life, and that's more than some people can say.

Now if Bush would only adopt the same attitude towards terrorism (and life in general)  as Salman Rushdie and allow the American people to actually  live their lives with a minimum of fear-mongering and outright manipulation.

Regrettably,  full, happy lives are the last things  Bush and his goons wantsfor the American people.   Never mind the fact that Republicans routinely complain about a dependency on tax-supported social programs; the truth of the matter is that this Administration  loves the idea of psychological dependency--as long as that dependency is  on  our Big Brother, George W. Bush,  and his maladjusted inner circle of cronies, and empire builders.

Bush understands that a  fearful  population is an obedient  population.  Bush likes obedience.  You might even say that he is addicted to it.  There isn't a thing in his psychological profile to suggest that he can tolerate disagreement in any way, shape or form; and to that end he and his inner circle will do anything and everything possible to keep the American people frightened.

Rushdie has a solution to this. He defies his would be murderers. He refuses to give any potential assassin a psychological victory by giving in to their demands. He has decided that life is to be lived to its fullest, not cowering in the shadows worrying  about what might or might not happen.
Unlike some people, Mister Rushdie has actually gotten on with the actual business of living.


Friday, February 24, 2006


From the Anal Retentive Press
by Brandon A. Geraghty

PHUQUEDUHP, ARKANSAS--Obadiah F. U. Wichanger, the newly elected District Attorney of Hellhole County, South Dakota announced today that his office would seek the death penalty in the case of little Johnny Gilchrist, the 9-month-old infant whose premature birth on December 25 of last year resulted in the death of the child's mother, the late Helena K. Gilchrist, age 24. According to Kelli Fitzgerald. the elder Gilchrist's gynecologist, the premature birth which began at the Gilchrist home and which was brought to its tragic conclusion at the Hellhole County Medical Center, resulted in an unexpected uterine hemmhorage which resulted in the mother's untimely death.

In the weeks following Gilchrist's demise, Wichanger, who had run for the position of DA on a pro life/pro execution platform and decided to bring a charge of Murder One against the unsuspecting infant. As a result, Baby Gilchrist, a racially mixed child, was subsequently tried at the Hellhole County Courthouse, where, after a week long trial, he was found guilty by an all white jury in less than two and a half minutes.

Appearing in his highchair only moments after his conviction, Baby Gilchrist offered the following statement: "Goo Goo Ga Ga," gurgled Gilchrist. "WHAH! WHAH! WHAH!"

None of which seemed to have an effect on Wichanger. Speaking at a hastily arranged press conference in Phuquedup, the fanatical DA told the assembled reporters that he had "few if any problems" when it came to sending an infant to the electric chair. "The Bible is clear on this matter," said Wichanger. "If you kill someone you are a murderer. If you spill innocent blood the state has a right to make you pay the ultimate price. And this child clearly spilled innocent blood." According to Wichanger the youth and obvious innocence of the alleged killer were irrelevant. "There can be no exceptions," noted Wichanger. "To show any kind of mercy in a case like this would establish a prescedence for moral relevance which might contaminate our Fundamentalist world view with rational thought.

But Kyle Kilpatrick, a leading attorney for the Coalition for a Republican-Free America, wasted little time as he condemned Wichanger's hypocrisy. "Something has gone very wrong when we're executing people who are still in diapers," noted Kilpatrick " It was bad enough when these so called 'Christians' wanted to execute juvenile offenders, but this kid doesn't know enough to stop pooping in his pants much less how to kill someone. The idea that a white judge and an all white jury could let this case go this far shows how utterly obtuse these half-baked fanatics have become."

Kilpatrick's comments drew a sharp condemnation from the Assistant DA, Kitty Lhitther. Appearing before the 150 year old building which serves as both, Phuquedup's combined Southern Baptist Church and Child Porn Center, the former televangelist turned legal hawk defended Wichanger's policy of social Darwinism. "For the life of me I don't know why Kilpatrick is so pissed off about this," growled Lhitther. "Fundamentalism teaches us that birth begins at the moment of conception and ends when junior leaves the birth control."

The 56-year-old Wichanger agreed. "As a born again obsessive compulsive, I prefer to believe that this is just a continuation of our right wing fiscal policy. We typically deny women abortions and birth control and then cut services for poor parents and working families. The fact that a few infants may go hungry, suffer from malnutrition, or starve to death is hardly of importance to the radical right, since junior stops being human once he leaves the mother's womb."

True to form, the Phuquedup public agreed. In a recent opinion poll taken by the Southern Center For Better Cross Burning, up top 80 percent of the Phuquedup population believed that it was all right to prevent an abortion even in cases of rape and incest, while only 17 percent believed that the actual child was entitled to a physical existence after birth. Still another three percent believed that the right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness should be limited to the time between conception and birth.

"I work my ass off," said one Phuquedup resident. "I don't want a single penny of my hard earned money to support some kid that I didn't sire. And God knows I've sired enough of them! If the parents can't support him let them get a second or third job. I see no reason why children under the age of one can't take care of themselves. It's about time these little brats took a little personal responsibility and chose the wombs in which they were conceived with a little more caution."

Again, Kilpatrick was outraged. "Isn't it amazing how the same people who talk about decency and morality are the same people who are too greedy, and self-involved to step up to the plate once the child is born? I guess this is the paradox of the Christian right. The preborn are sacred. The born are not."

Still, Wichanger and the people of Phuquedup may be in for a disappointment. In a landmark decision, federal Judge Daniel Gallagher ruled that the State of South Dakota did not have the legal right to execute an infant. "This is the most foolish thing that I've ever heard of," said Gallagher. "I dont know if it's too cold up there for brain function, or if their thought processes has been perverted by too much interbreeding, but we sure as hell don't fry someone before he or she can say 'mama' or 'dada.' I am therefore instructing the local court and District Attourney Wichanger to drop all charges and to report to the nearest mental health center for an immediate lobotomy. "

Despite this obvious set back, Wichanger believes that he has enough on his plate to keep himself busy for at least the next four or five years. "My next project will be the protection of the the pre-conceived," said Wichanger. "My office is giving serious consideration to filing undetermined charges against any individual who murders sperm cells either through masturbation, wet dreams, or premature ejaculation."
Wichanger would not offer a direct response when asked about wasted ova, saying only, "We're looking into the possibility of criminalizing any medication or device which interferes with fertilization in any way shape or form."

The late Helena Gilchrist offered no comment.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Corruptco Blogfest 2006

The Corruptco. Blogfest is a 'corporate appreciation' theme set for the week of Feb.26- March 7. The idea started over at Lose The Noose and Consider The Boot and many bloggers have already agreed to participate. There are no requirements, simply a willingness to use one's blog to give voice to a particular corporate action of detriment to the global and natural community. Examples include pollution, funding false data research, safety violations, unpaid fines, destroying ecosystems, toxic carcinogens, animal cruelty, misogyny and sexist corporate practices... unfair treatment of working parents, the disabled, or the denial of healthcare benefits. Over the weekend, Lily will compile a list of participant bloggers. Please consider the ways that you might have been 'touched'by the ice-cold hands of Corruptco. Especially needed are bloggers to write about sexism and bias, and bloggers from the Gay community. Thank you for welcoming me here, and I look forward to working together on 'the cause'!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


Portions of this post were published on a sister blog in February of last year. At the time it was called the "UNABASHED ANTI ORWELLIAN DICTIONARY." Brandon found the original draft in an old email account and opted to flesh out the original version. So much has happened since February 2005 that we just couldn't resist the opportunity to take another stab at this increasingly expansive post.

Over the course of the last few days, many of us have added new terms and definitions, or just revised a few that were already there. We didn't intend to include ever letter of the alphabet, but we did just that.


Advocate 1
Kyle A.


A-bu Ghraib\ah-boo 'graab\ n [MIDEASTERN] (introduced to American popular culture circa 2004-2005) (1): an Iraqi prison where Republican family values were practiced both, during and after the Hussein regime. (2): source of photos which George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeldt find sexually stimulating

al-ter-na-tive source of e-ner-gy \al-'ter-nah-tiv sorss of 'eh-nur-jee\ n pl alternative sources of energy [ORWELLIAN SALES TECHNIQUE, BUSH] (2006) (1): domestic oil as opposed to foreign oil (2): a deceptive buzz word used by lobbyists and oil-beholden politicians who want to shift our addiction to foreign oil to an addiction to domestic oil (3): an oil industry catch phrase designed to delay the development of renewable energy sources until the fossil fuel energy has bilked consumers for maximum profit

ax-is of e-vil\'aks-iss uv 'ee-vill\ n [BUSH DOUBLETALK] (circa 2001) (1): Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld (2): Cheney, Bush, and Rumsfeld (3): Rumsfeld, Cheney, and Bush (4): Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Bush (5): any three NEOCONS in the same room or with similar ideas

bush-ism \'bush-iz-im\ n pl isms\ [ORWELLIAN TONGUE-TIED] (1988 to present) (1): any unintentional slip of the tongue (2): the basic form of communication in the Bush crime family

col-or cod-ed a-lert sys-tem \'kul-or 'ko-ded a-'lert 'shysh-tem\useless practice or system [ASSCRACK, RIDGE to panic or to confuse] (2001) (1): a Republican system of campaigning designed to set Blacks, Whites, and Hispanics against one another (2): playing the race card (3): strategy employed by George W. Bush when he plays UNO with his pet salamander

cul-pa-ble de-ni-abil-i-ty \ 'cul-pah-bil de-ni-eh-'bi-leh-tee\ n pl ities [POLITICAL STRATEGY, lie like hell] (2000 to present) (1): a strategy employed whenever the Bush Administration is caught lying, ergo any commonly practiced method by which the truth is vehemently denied (2): a technique employed whenever George W. Bush or one of his advisors or spokespersons opens his or her mouth.

com-pass-sion-ate con-serv-at-iv-ism \cum 'pash-un'at con-'sherv-a-tiv-ish-m\ n [GEORGE W BUSH, I got mine, to hell with you] (2000) (1): An oxymoronic phrase in which radical right wingers try to pass themselves off as legitimate conservatives while hiding their contempt for the poor, Blacks, Hispanics, gays, and religious/ethic minorities. (2): I got mine to hell with you (3): If you need help, fuck off (4): social darwinism (5): the law of the jungle

de-moc-ra-cy \de-'moc-rah-see\ n pl cies [MF democratie fr LL democratia, fr Gk demokratia, fr demos + kratia ] (1576) (1): the form of government that conservatives are dedicated to overthrowing (2): a form of government which conservatives, NEOCONS in particular, find offensive and burdenesome. (3): a form of government which George W. Bush recognizes as a threat to his budding American Empire

de-moc-ra-cy (2) A form of government elected by the people. The chosen government may have sanctions imposed or military action taken against them if the USA don't like the people's choice. See Palestine (2006), Dominican Republic (1963), Cuba (1952), Iran (1953), Ecuador (1963), El Salvador (1972), Chile (1973) etc. *

en-vi-ron-ment-al pro-tec-tion\en-'vii-run-'ment-all pro-'tekt-shun\ n pl tions [POLITICAL DOUBLESPEAK fr CORPORATE DOUBLESPEAK) (circa mid 1960s to present, current Bush decpetion, circa 2001 to present) (1): Dump this shit wherever you like (2): have some cancer (3) global warming is good for you (4): buzz word for polluting without legal consequences

faith-based pro-gram \faath baasd 'pro-gram\ n pl sh [BUSH, preyer, damn religious freedom] (1990s to 2004) (1): a means by which hungry people are black mailed into accepting reich wing Christian beliefs (2): method by which lower class people can be proselytized with governmental funds (3): an effort by religious fanatics to make the the entire country as moronic as the Radical Christian Right. (4): a TV program in which Anne Coulter discovers that she is the Whore of Babylon and jumps the bones of the False Prophet, Donald Rumsfeld, to relieve their many frustrations

fam-i-ly val-ues\'fam-ih-lee 'val-yews\ n sing ue [REAGEN REVISIONIST RIGHT] (mid 1980s) 1): a series of beliefs held by narrow-minded individuals who want to impose their repressive family structures and religious beliefs on others (2): a conservative buzz word used by indviduals who do not value families (3): phrase used by right wing religious zealots whose reactionary belief system mirrors that of the former Manson Family

flip-flop-per\'flip-flop-per\ n pl persh [ BUSH PREYER, damn religious freedom] (circa 2003-2004) (1): term designed by far right to smear presidential candidate John Kerry in 2004 election (2): sexual technique performed by Paris Hilton and her pat rat (3); acrobatic act performed by George W. Bush as he avoids televised press conferences

FOX \ foks\n sing [PROPAGANDA, acronym] (1980s to present) (1): political and media shorthand for Fools, Oddballs and Xenophobes

free e-lec-tion \ free ih-'lek-shun\ n pl tions (13c) (1): a process which has not taken place at the presidential level in the United States since November 1996 (2): an antiquated concept which would undermine the NEOCONS in Washington DC (3): a process or activity which Republicans and Conservatives in general support when it brings friendly right wing regimes and death squads to power in foreign countries

free trade\ free traad\ n pl trades [GLOBALIST DOUBLE SPEAK; NEOCON ORWELLIAN] (1988 to present) (1): an economic policy highly akin to corporate fascism by which Transnational Corporations intend to destroy national governments

get-ting the good news out\geht-ting thuh guhd 'newzh owt\ v [[ORWELLIAN DECEPTION] (popularized circa 2004-2005) (1): lying (2): deceiving (3): prevaricating (4): deception (5): distortion (6): propaganda (7): right wing bullshit

glob-al-iz-a-tion \glob-ahl-iiz-aa-shun\ n pl tions [TRANSNATIONAL DECEPTION; UTOPIAN FANTASY] (1988 to present) (1): utopian belief that corporate values will lead to an international performance of Kumbaya (2): a process by which transnational corporations can treasonously undermine nation states (3): a political-economic system designed to destroy human civilization in favor of a corporate dictatorship

go fuck your-self \goh 'fuk yur-shelf\ v [CHENEY, nuff said] (summer 2004) (1): off the cuff comment made by Dick Cheney when he ran out of intelligent responses (2): What George W. Bush utters outloud whenever he reads the Bill of Rights. (3): What Jesus Christ will say to Bush and his warmongering supporters when he condemns them to eteranal damnation for their savagery and outright hypocrisy

G.O.P. \gee- oh pee\ acronymn [OLD REPUBLICAN, revised definition] (2004) (1): Greedy Old Prudes (2): Greedy Old Pigs (3): Grating Old Puritans (4): Geeks, Oddballs, and Pissants

Guan-tan-a-mo Bay\gwon-'tahn-ah-moh baa\n [GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION] (poplular usage circa 2002) (1): American torture chamber operated by sexual sadists in the second Bush Administration. (2): training ground for sexual psychopaths in the second Bush Administration.

HMO \ ach-em-'oh\ n pl HMOs {HEALTH CARE RACKET, abbreviation] (1980s to present) (1): health care abbreviation for Hand the Money Over (2): a pyramid scheme perpetuated by the health care industry to bilk the many while favoring the few (3): any crooked scheme which is designed to cheat the American people in the name of health care.

in-tel-li-gent de-sign\in-'tel-lih-jent dee-'siin\ n pl signs [CREATIONISM, DOUBLESPEAK] (1990s to present) (1): creationism (2): the belief that religious fanatics were moulded out of Satan's bowel movements (3): a thought system embraced by people whose families have been interbreeding for at least 300 years (4): a religiouis point of view with little design and even less intelligence

ju-di-cial re-straint\ju-'dish-ahl re-'straint\ n [LEGALESE] (1): a political congame in which courts and judges are rendered impotent so as to benefit the corporate oligarchy (2): a nickname for the straight jacket in which George W. Bush would like to strap the judicial branch

kill-ing\'kil-ing\n pl ings [[BUSH ART FORM, NEOCON PASSTIME] (Circa 2001 to present) (1): what most of George W. Bush's Mid Eastern policy has produced (2): the act perpetuated upon the American Constitution by Bush and his NEOCON empire builders

lib-er-al me-di-a\'lihb-ur-ahl 'mee-dee-ah\ n pl ias [NIXONIAN REDEFINITION] (popularized in America early 1970s0 (1): propaganda term used by corrupt right wing politicians when they don't like the news cycle (2): distractionary tactic to divert attention from Republican scandals and ineptitude

lib-er-al north-east \'lib-ral north-'eesht \ regional description [UNPATRIOTIC RIGHT] (2004) (1): a term employed by Carl Rove and George W. Bonehead to deny the fact that the liberal north east founded this country (2): term designed by the former members of the confederacy to deny the fact that the only contributions that Southern states have made to this country have been negative ones.

man-date \'man-daat\ n pl sh [GOP SPIN MACHINE] (2000, 2004) (1): What George Bush claims he had with a mere 52 percvent of the election (2): What Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson will never go on. (3): What the Log Cabin Republicans have already gone on (4): What right wing, male homophobes need the most.

mar-riage pro-tec-tion a-mend-ment \'mair-raj pro-'tek-shun 'a-mend-ment\ n pl ments [HOMOPHOBIC ORWELLIAN REICH] (2004-present) (1): a hate-based amendment designed to make bigotry and inquality lawful (2): a Constitutional Amendment proposed by the Christian Reich to deny gays and lesbians rights which are already enjoyed by heterosexuals (3): any of a number of proposed amendments to the federal and various state constitutions which, by their very nature, are unconstitutional (4): a temporary measure which will almost certainly be overturned by more enlightened thinkers

med-i-care part d \ med-'ih-caar part dee\ nondescriptive phrase, singular {HEALTH CARE, POLITICAL] (2004-2005) (1): a process by which the limitted resources of the elderly are redistributed to wealthy insurance companies (2): a political process by which the Bush Administration intends to secretly kill senior citizens for refusing to endorse the privatization of Social Security

NEOCON \'ee-oh-kon\ acronym [RADICAL RIGHT, repressive] (2000) (1): Neanderthals Endangering Our Constitution Over Nonsense (2): Nutcakes Eliminating Our Civilization Over Nothing

nine e-lev-en, nine e-le-ven \niin e-'lev-en, 'niin e-'le-ven\ n pl sh [COALITION gotcha] (2001) (1): the respective IQs of George W. Bush and Anne Coulter. (2) screw number 2--I'm so pleased with number 1 I'll let it stand as it is.

nine one one \niin won 'won\ phrase[RIGHT WING MEDIA, abbreviation] (2001) (1): the respective IQs of Dick Cheney, Imalyin Rice, and Sam Alito. (2): Anne Coulter's measurements

no child left be-hind \no 'chiild left be-'hind\ policy [ORWELLIAN BUSH, to terrorize or exploit children] (2002) (1): an overtly deceptive policy designed to channel high school youth into the military (2): no child left under the control of his or her parents (3): a policy of corporeal punishment endorsed by the Radical Chrictian right in which the buttocks are whipped off of an unruly and/or nonchristian child.

NSA \en-ess-'aa\ abbreviation [REICH WING ABBREVIATION, to invade or to snoop] (2001 to present) (1): Nazis Snooping Aggressively (2): any reich wing organization which tramples the Constitution to invade the privacy of the American people

ol-i-gar-chy\'ol-ih-gar-kee\n [REPUBLICAN FORM OF GOVERNMENT] (1980 to 1992, 2001 to present) (1) : a government in which a small group exercises control especially for corrupt and selfish purposes (2): the Republican dominated House of Representatives since 1994 (3): corporate lobbyists (4): corporate CEOs and Boards of Directors

par-tial birth a-bor-tion \'par-shel burth a 'bor shun\ n pl tions [RADICAL CHRISTIAN, to hate women] (1990s) (1): the surgical procedure survived by George W. Bush (2): a term created by the radical Christian right to justify the deaths of child bearing women who may encounter serious health problems during the last trimester

pa-tri-oti-sm \'pa-tree-eh-ti-zehm\ n pl isms [REICH WING DISTORTION] (2001 to present) (1): nationalism (2): a series of emotions and instincts manipulated by the NEOCONS to distract from both, the inept execution of their policies, and corrupt cronyism at the higher levels of the Bush War Crime Regime. (3): emotions frequently invoked by hypocritical , right wing politicians who want the sons and daughters of lower and middle class Americans to die on foreign soil while said politicians and their spoiled offspring do little to nothing to demonstrate any form of patriotism themselves (4): an emotional catch phrase used by right wing political thugs who have no sense of patriotism but who use the term as a duplicitous political slogan. (5): propaganda

per-son-al re-spon-si-bil-i-ty \ 'purs-nel ri-'spon-seh-'bi-leh-tee \ belief or practice\ n, pl ities [ORWELLIAN & REAGENESQUE, to abuse or to ignore] (1980s) (1): a potentially beneficial concept which was batsardized into an excuse for greed, apathy, and narcissism during the 1980s (2): social darwinism (3): the law of the jungle (4): survival of the fittest. (5): What right wingers demand of others but seldom practice themselves

per-son-al sav-ings ac-count \ purs-nel 'sav-ings ac-cownt \ economic pyramid scheme [G. W. BUSH, you're on your own, buzz off] (1): a right wing phrase designed to work on the greed and selfishness of young conservatives (2): a risky scheme based on the theory that the strong should live and the weak should die (3): the special bank account that George W. uses when he wants to buy pizza, leather panty hose, and crack coaine

pr-va-cy \ 'prii-vah-see\ n pl cies (15c) [POLITICAL, CONSTITUTIONA 1776-present, to be left alone] (1): a concept which the Bush Regime is dedicated to overthrowing (2): what no one in the United States enjoyed from 2001 until the present (3): a concept seen as unpatriotic by the Bush Regime and NEOCONS in general.

pro-life \pro-'liif\ adj [RADICAL REICH, to kill women] (1970s) (1): a half baked theo-political theory based on the hatred of strong women and the foolish belief that sperm and egg cells are fully human prior to conception (2): an 0rwellian term designed to cover up the fact that most of the woman- hating Christian Right may be latently homosexual

pro-tect-ing you, pro-tec-ting you \pro-'tect-ing yoo, pro-'tek-ting yoo\ v {ORWELLIAN DECEPTION, BUSHISM] (2001-present) (1): invading the privacy of the American people under illegal circumstances (2): illegally gathering political information on political oppontents for political purposes in the name of national security

quis-ling\'kwiz-linj\ n {Vidkun Quisling 1945, Norwegian politician] (1): traitor who collaborates with the invaders of his own country, esp by serving in a puppet government (2): term applied to Republican NEOCONS who used a national tragedy to undermine the Constitution of the United States

re-li-gious free-dom\ree-'lih-jus 'free-dumb\ n pl doms [THEOCRATIC RIGHT, ORWELLIAN CONFUSION] (1): an emotional buzz phrase bantered about by those who support freedom of religion for themselves but not others (2): a term frequently misconstrued by the religious right so as to embrace the freedom to establish one's religion

ren-di-tion\ren-'dih-shun\ n pl tions [W DOUBLE SPEAK] (popularized circa 2004) (1): torture (2): the high-pitched musical notes produced by the victim when Dick Cheney shoots a friend and fellow hunter in the face

RE-PUB-LI-CAN \ree-'pub-lih-kan\ acronym [COALITION FOR A REPUBLICAN-FREE AMERICA, revealing hidden meaning] (2005) (1): Reactionary Evangelicals Preaching Unmitigated Bullshit Like Idiots, Crackpots and Neanderthals (2): Radical Evangelical Puritans Undermining Basic Liberties In Crafty, Ambiguous Nuances

se-cure- ir-aq \'sheh-kewr ihr-'rok\ fnatasy phrase\ n\ [NECON, impossible , RIGHT WING, moronic] (1991) (1): the bank at which Bush Incorporated will hide all the loot once the Iraq Oil money is going directly into their pockets (2): a fanatasy land, such as the Santa's North Pole, where Iraq is actually a peaceful democracy. (3): any foolish, right wing pipe dream

so-cial se-cur-i-ty cri-sis. \'sho-shul she-'keur-it-te 'crish-ish\ fear mongering technique [RIGHT WING BULLSHIT, phoney issue, red herring, smoke screen] (2004) (1): a battle cry to divert America's problems from the failed war in Iraq (2): a right wing buzz word to divert America's attention from the deficit (3): catch phrase used by modern day MCarthyists who would allow old people to starve to death because Bush Inc foolishly considers Social Security a form of Communism (4): what old people will go through if Bush succeeds in destroying the system as he seems so determined to do

stea-dy pro-gress in ir-aq \ 'ste-dee 'pro-gress in ir-'aq\ n deceitful propaganda [MORE RIGHT WING BULLSHIT, cry of the desperate, derived from creative lying under difficult circumstances] (2003 to the present) (1): a myth fabricated by the NEOCONS to convince the American people that their war of agression is going well (2): Orwellian buzzword for "we fucked up big time but can't admit as much" (3): electoral propaganda tool to convince America that George W. Bush was not instrumental in the creation of the greater Iranian Empire (4): Orwellian propaganda used by NEOCON Empire-builders to excuse the massive death and destruction that their sociopathic tendencies have caused during a war of agrresssion

strong re-solve \shtrong re-'sholv\ dreck [CHENEY, RUMMYHEAD, let others carry] (2002) (1): a militay policy which allowed unsuspecting young men to die in Vietnam while George W. Bush hid under his mommy's hoop skirt. (2): A military strategy designed by Donald Rumsfeld which keeps 90-year-old men on the battlefield (3): a pseudo patriotic phrase employed by pseudo patriots as they sit behind desks and send young Americans to their deaths on the battlefield (4): bravery on the part of American troops (5): Cowardly behavior on the part of conservative politicians

ter-ror a-lert \'tur-rur a-'lurt\ n pl sh [JOHN ASSCRACK, RIDGE,to panic or to scam] (2001) (1): What the rest of the world goes through whenever George W. Bush puts his foot in his mouth (2): What sane, civilized Americans experience whenever George W. Bush gets another vision from Jesus and won't take his meds (3): a psychological condition endemic to the Iraqi children George W. Bush has orphaned as a result of his war of choice in Iraq (4): a psychological condition endemic to Iraqi parents who lost children as a result of the war of choice in Iraq. (5): an emotional condition being experienced by many veterans who come home with war injuries and Post Trauamatic Stress Disorder.

tor-ture \ 'tor-chur\ n sing Bush fetish {NEOCONS, SEXUAL SADISTS, SOCIOPATHS, a pleasant pass time] (2001-present) (1): the only means by which sexually frustrated Republicans can find sexual satisfaction (2): an illegal practice which Bush,Cheney, and Rumsfeld find amusing and stimulating (3) what the United States of America experienced during the Bush-Cheney war crime regime

they hate us be-cause of our free-doms \thay hate ush be-'kush uff owr 'free-dumsh\misleading phrase [BUSH II, we'll fix that] (2001) (1): an excuse used by the second Bush administration to re-enact the Patriot Act. (2): an attempt by right wingers to make America as totalitarian under radical Christianity as the Mideast is under radical Islam

un-A-mer-i-can\un-ah-'mur-ih-kan\adj [fr DUPLICITOUS RIGHT] (1994 to present) (1a) not of America (1b): openly hostile or treasonous to America or its interests (2): the Republican Party under George W. Bush (3): apt description of the United States House of Representatives from 1994 to present (4): pertaining to the Republicans and their treasonous atitude towards the Constitution (5):pertaining to the Reopublican Party and the manner in which it has killed the American dream except for those at the top of the economic ladder (6); virtually any policy proposed by the NEOCONS, and George W. Bush since the latter was appointed as Demander and Thief

vou-cher pro-gram\'vow-chur 'pro-gram\ n pl grams [RELIGIOUS CON GAME fr CONSERVATIVE CATHOLIC] (1): congame devised by the child-molesting, Catholic Church to both undermine church-state separation and to fund Catholic indoctrination centers (2): a practice endorsed by white-collared perverts who use Barbie Dolls and Snickers Bars to attract their under age dates

will of the A-mer-i-can peo-ple \will uv thuh a-'mur-i-kan 'pee-pul\ misleading phrase [BUSH SUPPORTERS, tyranny of the majority] (2004) (1): a war cry by the radical right which still doesn't understand that a mere 52 percent isn't a mandate (see mandate) (2): the guy named Will who's always urinating in back of the local tavern

win the peace \ win thuh 'peess \ cheerlading phrase [ROVE AND RUMSFELD, to run like a thief] (2002) ( 1a): phrase employed by the second Bush (mis)administration (1b): any wartime phrase designed to deceive the unsuspecting public. (2): to take the oil (3): to wage nonstop warfare for political or economic gain.

xan-thic\'zan(t)-thik\ adj [F xanthique fr Gk xanthos] (1): of or relating to or tending towards the color yellow (2): a term which describes the befuddled George W. Bush on the morning of 911 (3): a descriptive word for pro war Republicans who support the invasion of Iraq, and who allow volunteers to die in their place, but lack the courage to fight the war which they so loudly support

ya-hoo\yaa-hu, 'yah-hu\ n pl hoos\ n (1): cap: a member of a race of brutes in Seifts Gulliver's Travels who have the form and all the vices of men (2): an uncouth or rowdy person (3): a gutless Americanm corporation which sold out to the Fascist Bush War Crime Regime (4): slang word for your typical, clumsy, plodding Republican

zom-bi or zom-bie\ 'zahm-bee\n [of Niger-Congo origin, akin to Kongo nzambi god] (1): a will-less and speechless human in the West Indies capable only of autmoatic movement and who is held to have died and been reanimated, but often believed to have been drugged into catelepsy for the hours of internent. (2) your typical, Republican voter in 2000 and again in 2004 who thought George W. Bush was not a sociopath (3): your typical Republican Congressman when confronted by the corporate lobbyists to whom he or she is beholden for financial support

* submitted by Ragnarok at Long(ing) Distances

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


THIS IS FEBRUARY 15, 2006, and that means that our Kyle turns 25 today!

From all your friends and relatives and co workers on THE COALITION FOR A REPUBLICAN-FREE AMERICA....

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"For what is he they follow? truly, gentlemen,
A bloody tyrant and a homicide;
One raised in blood, and one in blood establish'd;
One that made means to come by what he hath,
And slaughter'd those that were the means to help him;
A baleful stone, made precious by the foil
Of England's chair, where he is falsely set..."

Richard III
Act V Scene 5
by William Shakespeare

They comprise approximately one percent of the American Population. population. As a children they may well have wet the bed for no apparent physical reason or reasons;or started fires (pyromania) for the sheer enjoyment of lighting fires, or tortured small animals for the sheer enjoyment of torture; or engaged in dangerous activities which posed a threat to both others and themselves.

When they grow up they might give all the outward appearances of normalcy. They may laugh or cry at the appropriate moments; they may even offer something that resembles genuine love, compassion, or sympathy when the situation requires them to do so.

But if you were to look beyond their conniving behavior, you would discover a calculating monster which is incapable of feeling anything for anyone except him or herself. People like this are manipulative. They will do or say anything to further their own goals and objectives, but they don't care who they hurt in the process. They may appear charming and inviting, but they may lie, cheat, and steal on a regular basis. They may appear supportive and compassionate, but they may actually be cruel, violent, and sadistic. They may drink or use illegal drugs on a regular basis; may experience repeated failures with both, permanent employment and long term relationships. They may malinger, may do anything, either legal or illegal to get out of obligations and duties. They may plan a given scheme for months or even years on end, only to fail their own objectives, through their abnormally impulsive behavior. At the very worst they may kill for the sheer sexual pleasure of killing. Questions of guilt and conscience are irrelevant; they know the difference between right and wrong but consider themselves superior to the basic laws of civilization. In other words, they don't care about right or wrong. And to make the situation even worse they do not learn from their mistakes and they cannot be cured.

You might have grown up with one; been a friend or a sibling to one. You might have worked for one or even employed one. You might have gone to school with one or possibly married one.

We call them sociopaths, sometimes psychopaths, and they suffer from an incurable disorder called Anti-Social Personality Disorder.

And it now appears as if 51 percent of eligible American voters actually voted for one in the year 2004. His name is George W. Bush, and it's time to stop dancing around the issue. Our country is being led by a dangerous, unfeeling sociopath who has surrounded himself with disturbed individuals of a similar, maladjusted vent.

The antics of George W. Bush, the boy and the adult (I won't use the word man, since maturation is another quality this individual lacks) go a little beyond short changing the sheets and putting salt in the sugar bowl on April Fools Day. This after all was a boy who was raised by a virtually absentee mother and a cold-hearted, closet-drinking mother. How bad were they? When George's little sister passed away George Senior and Barbara not only wouldn't talk about their daughter's illness and death from leukemia. They didn't even have a funeral and went so far as to go golfing the next day; leaving young George to handle the situation on his own. In this regard there is a certain degree of confusion. If indeed, there was a time when young George had normal feelings for anyone or anything, they were driven from him when he was left to handle his feelings of guilt, sadness and confusion on his own with a minimum of parental care. In this scenario, George essentially learned that expressions of emotion and vulnerability were signs of weakness, eventually creating an individual who refused to show associated emotions such as compassion or sympathy. In the sociopath scenario, young George never had those feelings to begin with. But when you think about it the end result is the same. This is an individual who has a great deal of difficulty when it comes to expressing genuine sympyathy.

1). As a child, Baby Bush not only enjoyed shooting frogs. He also enjoyed stuffing them with fire crackers and watching them explode. How's that for a fun-packed activity on a boring afternoon? It kind of makes me thankful that he never figured out how to run the microwave. God only knows what he would have done to the family cat.

2). In college he branded the buttocks of his fellow pledges with hot wire coat hangers and to this day he does not understand why people consider this inappropriate.

3). As a young man he became a chronic alcoholic, going on a drunken, sex-crazed, cocainen-powdered binge which lasted from the time he graduated from high school until he turned forty in the year 1986. And yet, for some bizarre reason, the Christian Right idolizeds this demented abomination as a paragon of virtue, completely oblivious to the fact that their Dry Drunk Select has physically given up the mind-altering substances while maintaining all the psychological characteristics of a sociopathic alcoholic: the lying, the manipulation, the utter disregard for law, for right and wrong, ad nauseam.

4). Early on on his marriage he responded to criticism of a speech by his wife Laura, by driving the car through the front doors of the garage, continuing until he had ploughed through the back wall.

5). Throughout his business and early political career, he used his family's wealth, power, and influence (some might say that he manipulated his enabling family members) to get him out of numerous difficulties. Whether it's avoiding combat in Vietnam, or avoiding the consequences of his alcoholism, or denying his involvement in either failed businesses or financial scandals, George W. Bush not only has a problem when it comes to accepting personal responsibility for his actions, he also blames others for his many mistakes and, by the same token, expects others to pull his chestnuts out of the fire.

6). In September 1976, he was convicted on drunk driving and spent the next twenty years lying to keep the fact concealed. *In that same year, 1976, he went on a drunken joyride with his little brother Marvin, knocking down mailboxes with baseball bats as they sped along the countryside. When Papa Bush took him to task for his irresponsible behavior, Little George threatened to beat up his father.

7). As governor of Texas, he not only refused to commute the death sentence of Karla Fay Tucker; he also ridiculed her pleas for mercy.

8). This president routinely presents himself as a tongue-tied "good-old-boy" from Texas to curry favor with the American people, when in fact he is an accomplished and manipulative speaker, who could charm the skin off a rattlesnake. Indeed, Bush can be both, forceful and eloquent, when he is angry and verbally abusive, but when he talks about democracy, compassion, family, and the average American, his contempt for lower and middle class America, becomes obvious as he mangles sentences andstutterss all over himself, struggling to find the proper words. This is why we hear such outrageous comments about how he "wants to put food on our family," and how poor people don't necessarily want to kill people. He simply does not understand, nor care about anyone except himself. Contrary to popular belief, the Decider's goon squads are not on hand to shield the public from his occasional bouts of lunacy. Instead, they serve as a buffer between Bush and the American people, essentially concealing the fact that the Demander and Thief is a bully and a con man who has no speech impairment at all when he is firing off the cuff obscenities and insults. This, of course, is the real why this president is so shielded from the press and why his events are staged before friendly, preselected crowds.

9). This is the same individual who planned an invasion of an oil rich country for years and then botched the invasion proper through his own arrogant and impulsive behavior patterns. The end result? More than 2,100 American soldiers killed, more than 15,000 American soldiers disabled, and (according to the Lance), more than 100,000 Iraqis civilians killed. You just have to wonder if the Demander and Thief is satisfied to look at pictures in the paper or if he would actually like to collect trophies like other serial killers.

10). This is also the same president who lied about Weapons of Mass Destruction and then had the audacity to perform a bizarre comedy routine in the White House, even as American Soldiers were dying because of his delusional miscalculations

11). Apparently Bush hasn't matured much since the good old days when he was blowing up frogs, because he embraces the use of torture and torture obtained evidence.* His contempt for the law is so intense that he has now referred to the United States Constitution as a "goddamn piece of paper." Now about that problem with following the law that "W" supposedly doesn't have?

In addition, it seems as if the self-declared "Decider" is trapped in a state of perpetual immaturity--or is it a state of sexual sadism? Why is so much of this indvidual's behavior so disturbingly anal? Inserting fire crackers in frogs anal orifices; branding the buttocks of college pledges; underwear placed on the heads of prisoners at various detention centers. Are those of us on the left the only people who see a disturbingly erotic aspect to all of this?

And why, you should ask yourself, throughout his entire life he has George W. Bush never taken responsibility for a single, solitary mistake--which, if he take him at his own word, he has never made in the first place? On the other hand he has surrounded himself with like-minded individuals who are equally opposed to accepting their share of the blame, and who routinely pass the buck down to lower level inferiors in the chain of command.

It's time to admit that George W. Bush does not possess the normal range of human emotions that most of us do. It's time to face the fact that George W. Bush is not a Compassionate Conservative. He is not an honest individual, he is not a legitimate Christian, and he is not a law abiding citizen. Everything this president does is for a calculated effect, and if, on occasion, he seems to express a normal, human emotion, it is only because he has learned to emulate that behavior by observing and mimicking normal people. .

Beneath the facade, George W. Bush is an empty, power-hungry vessel; a scheming, conniving sociopath who will do anything, both legal and illegal, to obtain whatever warped objective he has yet to share with us.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


Is this political cartoon featuring Donald Rumsfeld dressed as a Doctor, telling a badly wounded Iraqi vet that he has been "battle hardened" offensive to soldiers; or is it just trying to point out that Rumsfeld, who orchestrated so much of the ineptitude and bloodshed that we see in Iraq, views soldiers as disposable pawns in a geo-political game of chess?

I suspect that the answer is the latter, but for some reason the Joint Chiefs of Staff have decided to chuck honesty out the window and misrepresent the cartoonist's intention. Not that we should be surprised. Considering the blood on their hands I'd be in denial too. But then again, this administration seems to rejoice in blood, death and suffering.

Monday, February 06, 2006

God Is Still Speaking Churches

As a follow up to Daniel Gallagher's recent post about the United Church of Christ and the few, ignorant congregations which have removed the "God is Still Speaking" signs from their front lawns, I would offer the following information.

Contrary to popular belief, there are many United Churches of Christ which actually welcome gays and lesbians, and if your church is not among them, then I have good news for you.

The United Church of Christ has a website. On that website you will find a search engine through which you can locate an enlightened congregation which is still a part of the "God is Still Speaking" campaign. If you're looking for an open, accepting climate you can actually find a loving congregation to suit your own needs. That's right, mates. You no longer have to tolerate a congregation of theocratic carnivores who say that they will pray for you while they are actually preying for you. You do not need to waste your time trying to convince a pack of homophobic bigots that their hackneyed attitudes went out with witch burning and public flogging.

Just click on FIND A UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST CONGREGATION IN YOUR COMMUNITY and it should take you right to the desired search engine. Only those congregations which are a part of the God is Still Speaking Campaign are listed.

As for the others, the ones that aren't, listed, what can I say except...

God forgive them, they know not what they are doing.

Saturday, February 04, 2006




"Women whom Nietzche never had, he consigned to a distinctly inferior status, as did the Nazis, who decreed that their place was in the kitchen and their chief roll in life to beget children for German warriors. Nietzche pit the idea this way: "Man shall be trained for war and women for the procreation of the warrior. All else is folly." He went further in Thus Spake Zarathustra. He exclaims: "Thou goest to woman? Do not forget thy whip!"--which prompted Bertrand Russell to quip, "Nine women out of ten would have got the whip away from him and he knew it, so he kept away from women!"

From The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich: A History of Nazi Germany
Page 100By William L. Shirer
1959, 1960 Simon and Schuster

Welcome to the supposedly progressive state of Wisconsin, where the Radical Christian Right and borderline fascists are again trying to keep women barefoot and pregnant.

It's inconceivable--pun intended. Forty years after the Supreme Court legalized bith control in Griswold v Connecticut a woman's right to safe, legal contraception has again come under attack. And, as before, the attack is coming from reactionary religious fanatics who believe that their right to practice their religion includes a right to control the beliefs, practices, and physical bodies of others.

I don't know what things are like in your state, but here, in Wisconsin, a woman's right to safe, legal contraception is being threatened by two Republican-led (natch!) measures.One measure introduced by State Senator Daniel LeMahieu, would prohibit the University of Wisconsin Health Clinics from prescribing and dispensing the morning after pill. This measure (if passed, or not vetoed by our governor) would prohibit University of Wisconsin Health Clinics from prescribing and dispensing the morning after pill.

The controversy began on April 19 of this year, when the UW Madison Health Clinic ran a controversial ad which encouraged young women to arm themselves with a prescription for birth control, i.e. the morning after pill prior to spring break. This of course, led to the all too predictable accusation that the university system was promoting promiscuity. And, as you might have guessed, most of the criticism has been leveled against young women, never young men, demonstrating how sexist and borderline fascist this argument has become.The far right routinely harps about personal responsibility. You might even say that the right wingers have obsessed over it but don't always practice it themselves. Here we had a situation in which the UW was encouraging personal responsibility by reminding young women to arm themselves with contraception during spring break and the far right is flipping out because women might actually do something that would give them control over their own bodies.

Of course you have to remember that the far right's idea of personal responsibility is the imposition of reactionary, often misogynistic "values" from the top down. These are young women, legal adults, not elementary school children who need a state Senator to tell them what they can with their bodies and/or personal lives.

Religious arguments about promiscuity not withstanding, we must assume that some of these young women are either already having sex or contemplating the idea. The LeMahieu solution couldn't be more chauvinistic. It tells young women that they are too stupid, too immoral, or too immature to make decisions for themselves and that the state has to step in to make decisions for them.That seems rather hypocritical when you consider the fact that this Draconian measure comes from the Republican Party, the same party which supposedly believes in smaller government and getting that smaller government of our backs. In fact it seems as if Mister LeMahieu wants to get the government off our backs and in our bedrooms. Or to put it another way: LeMahieu's values represent a throw back to the double standard of the Victorian era. Women are supposed to be pure and virginal on their wedding nights while boys are allowed to sow their wild oats. And that makes me wonder. With whom, pray tell, are the boys supposed to have sex with if the young women are supposed to be virgins on their wedding nights? We're back to the bad old days of the Madonna-Whore Scenario. Good girls,"Madonnas," don't. Bad girls, "whores," do. Boys aren't judged no matter what they do.

In other words, women not only have to be more responsible because conservative politicians, in their woman-hating "wisdom" have decided that men can do no wrong and women need to be controlled. Why if you didn't know better you'd be tempted to think that they were trying to impose a literal interpretation of the Bible because they believe all women should be punished because Eve allegedly committed the original, original sin. (It might be suggested, however, that Eve was actually the superior being in the Book of Genesis. Eve was tempted by Lucifer, supernatural being, a fallen angel with supernatural powers. Adam, on the other hand, was tempted by a mere human being. In other words, Adam was a lot more stupid and than Eve ever could have been, allowing himself to be tempted and corrupted by a "mere" woman. Kind of makes you wonder why men think they're so incredibly superior when they seem to be the more gullible of the two sexes.)

But I seem to have digressed.

For some reason right wing Republicans, both the woman hating males, and the self-hating females, seem to have a problem with strong, independent women. And it certainly shows in their attitude (problem) towards contraception. Senator LeMahieu, I'll cut a deal with you. The day you grow a birth canal, uterus, ovaries, and the necessary plumbing for carrying and delivering a nine pound bundle of joy is the day I'll listen to you. Until that day comes though, you'll just have to forgive my stifled laughter.

Unfortunately the assault on a woman's right to safe and legal contraception doesn't end with Senator LeMahieu. At the same time that the good Senator and his Bible-thumping misanthropes are trying to ban birth control through the University of Wisconsin, their "pro life" allies are attempting to undermine patients' rights through a Pharmacists Freedom of Conscience Act. In a measure which could best be described as the "No Patient Gets Medication Act," pharmacists would have the right to withhold medications from patients. In other words, if the pharmacist's religious or moral values were offended he would not have to dispense the medication that the patient's doctor had prescribed. The problems with this are obvious. In the first place, it not only interferes with the relationship between doctor and patient, it also allows the pharmacist, who is not a doctor, to trump the doctor's professional judgment. And, in the second place, it allows the pharmacist to practice an aspect of medicine without a license. More chillingly, many of these bills are written so broadly and loosely that they could include just about any area of health care or any medication or procedure; and yet, the ultimate target seems to be, not so much safe legal abortion, but safe, legal contraception. This seems just a little odd when you think back to the 1980s when the Pro Life movement was swearing up and down that they were not interested in banning birth control. That means one of two things have happened. They changed their minds (which means you can't believe a word they say), or they lied in the first place (which means you can't believe a word they say)

.Of course, I can hear the self-proclaimed moralists even as I write this. "Pharmacists have rights too! You're trying to deny them the right to practice their Christian faith." Well, I'm sorry, but that is so beyond the scope of common sense that I don't know if I should laugh or cry. If you're a recovering alcoholic you probably aren't going to seek a job as a part time bartender. If you're a Mormon you probably won't get a job as a topless dancer. If you're allergic to roses and chrysanthemums you probably won't be working at your local florist. If you hate dogs you won't be answering that "help wanted" ad by your friendly, neighborhood Grooming Salon. If you're a pacifist you probably aren't going to sign up for military service. If you think boxing should be banned as a sport you probably won't be refereeing too many prizefights. And if you have a problem when it comes to dispensing birth control to female patients then you really should be looking for another line of work--unless our only reason for becoming a pharmacist in the first place is so that you can make it more difficult for women to obtain safe, legal contraception, in which case you deserve no pity nor protection since your so called values are more twisted than that old corkscrew in the back of your silverware drawer.

The only reason this became an issue in Wisconsin is because a pharmacist not only refused to fill a prescription, but also refused to transfer the prescription to another pharmacist, effectively denying the patient access to medication. That may sound trivial to some, but in a rural state like Wisconsin, especially in rural areas, where small towns often have only one drug store, a measure such as this could be a real hardship. It could require the patient to drive 20, 25, or even more miles to the next village. Have you ever tried to drive 20or 30 miles during a wintry day ion Northern Wisconsin? Trust me. It is not a pleasant, nor a safe experience.But that's the idea, isn't it? Those Orwellian named Freedom of Conscience Acts are just another means by which Radical Right Religionists can deny women safe, legal contraception; another means by which right wing Catholics, and reactionary Protestant Evangelicals can impose their theocratic, indeed fascist values on the rest of society.

It seems to me that right wing politicians, both male and female, either fear or envy strong, independent women. If given half a chance I'm sure that the religious right would be using whips and chains to keep us in the kitchen.

Luckily for us we figured out how to take away those whips long ago.

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