Saturday, June 17, 2006

NOW HIRING

LOOKING FOR SHORT TERM EMPLOYMENT?

Do you enjoy living on the edge? We are searching for a person or persons of Islamic, Mid Eastern descent to serve as our next bogeyman. Must have a strong stomach; a short temper; a proclivity for barbaric behavior; advanced techniques in the proper and improper uses of a pruning saw, and a thorough understanding of electronics, explossives, weapons, and insurgency movements/terrorist methodologies. Applicants need not provide basic identitfication, but should look mean and threatening to xenophobic, white, middle class, American Christians. We also ask that applicants be willing and able to work on all Jewish, Christian, and Islamic Holidays. Pay negotiable. No fringe benefits nor health care. If you look good with a machine gun in hand, and if you have a talent for uttering the words "Great Satan" and "American Infidel," please be so kind as to contact us at 1-888-IAMBUSH. Ask for Karl.

You may also snail mail your application to:

Propaganda Minister Karl Rove
c/o The SECRET GOVERNMENT IN THE BASEMENT
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington DC 20050

Allow 6 to 8 weeks for a top secret, unofficial response.

2 comments:

Ragnarok said...

Should they not also be available to work right before elections? Also a beard is desirable but not essential.

BEAST said...

Yes. And it is imperative that the person chosen for the job possesses the seductive eyes of Osama bin LAden.