Saturday, June 03, 2006

The Strength of Samson, or the Deceit of Delilah



Hat tip to Dude at Blue Republic for this one.

I have to admit a mild level of surprise. The surprise is that last week when Pat Robertson made his comment about the tsunami that he predicts might hit the Pacific Northwest (Pat was due to say something stupid again) I pointed out how in cycle he is. Pat is usually so faithfully on cue every three or four months or so, that you could practically set your clock by him (for change of the seasons anyway). It had been since January that he had made the comment about Ariel Sharon's stroke being divine retribution for the Gaza pullout, so when he predicted that storms and a tsunami 'might' hit the U.S., I almost thought about not blogging about it, it being one of Pat's milder idiocies (though that 'might' caught my attention-- he seems to have learned from some of his previous mistakes). So, I figured that Pat would return to his grotto and hibernate until late summer or early fall before he would come out and say something stupid again.

But it was only this week that he did. Actually not in person, but via his website, where he claimed to have leg-pressed 2000 pounds.

I wonder if someone contacted the Guiness Book, because the present record for a leg press is 1,335 pounds by former Florida State University Quarterback Dan Kendra.

Leaving aside the question of how many phone calls the 73 year old televangelist is undoubtedly now fielding from major university football programs wanting to see if he has used up his NCAA eligibility, if this claim is true, it should certainly convince doubters that Robertson is indeed the elect man of God.

After all, to not only break a world strength record at his age, but to shatter it by leg lifting 50% more weight than anyone has ever lifted this way, could only be possible if he indeed received the strength of Samson.

And if that is true, then we clearly have the wrong strategy in Iraq. Instead of sending mere mortals to fight, we should send Pat. The Bible after all says that the original Samson slew a thousand Philistines with the jawbone of an ass, just imagine what Pat could do with all the arms we could give him? And if faced with hand to hand combat, he obviously has the leg strength that he could just drop kick a foeman over the next block. It is inconceivable to believe that God would give Pat such superhuman strength just so he could do a simple leg-press, he must want him to use it to perform some amazing miracle. Perhaps next week you will hear of Pat lifting a car off of a trapped victim, or jumping up to the second floor of a building to rescue a child from a fire, or perhaps kicking down a tree to help clear a break ahead of an approaching forest fire. We will have to wait and see what he will do.

2 comments:

Brandon said...

Thanks Eli! We've been trying to find a way to handle this material. but each time we start to talk about it the conversation devolves into a series of one-liners, off the cuff jokes, impersonations, and thigh bursting laughter. As a result we just never got anything concrete with the material.

Again, thanks a bunch my man!

Brandon

Brandon said...

PS Hats off to Dude for the article.

Thanks much!