Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Even the Presidential BM is classified.

Sometimes people ask why I don't write more spoofs. The short answer is, I don't have to. Not when you have reality and the Bush administration.

According to the Huffington Report, The Presidential turds are not dumped into any old toilet. He has a special portable potty that a secret service agent packs around when he is out of the country.

Even Bush's crap is classified top secret. According to our Austrian sources, Austrian newspapers are currently abuzz with special security details of George W. Bush's recent trip to Vienna...

it was White House 'toilet security' (TOILSEC), which has Austrians talking the most. The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material....

Even Bush's toilet paper was flown in from the U.S. Air Base at Ramstein, Germany.

I guess he is afraid there will be a chemical the Austrians put in their rolls of toilet paper that will cause him to get hemorrhoids or something. The paranoia of this white house is unbelievable.

Having this guy as the President is an embarrassment (he also uses a food tester, according to the end of the article).

Can you imagine being the Secret Service agent who is tasked with overseeing the Presidential poo and making sure it gets back to the states alright?


Brandon said...

I'm past the point of embarassed. I am disgusted by this goon.

Jenny'O said...


no, i'm scared to death.

shrimplate said...

How much does it pay?

BEAST said...

Question: Doesn't shit or smell the same?

Bush's Answer: Marriage is meant as a union for a man and a woman.

I rest my case.