"WHAT A HELL OF A HEAVEN"

" WHAT A HELL OF A HEAVEN"
by Daniel G
Edited by Brandon and Advocate1


"I wonder if God created man because he was disappointed in the monkey."
From Mark Twain Tonight by Mark Twain and Hal Holbrook

-----I know that a certain bent of "person" will read this and immediately assume that I hate all Christians, and to that knee jerk response I would offer the following responses.
-----First, I am not responsible for the fact that some people like to project their negative or even criminal thought processes onto others. The fact that some people go through life thinking (or are they hoping?) that they are being persecuted because of their distorted view of a given religion is their problem. Not mine. My advice to them is that they either learn to love it or adopt a more rational belief system.
-----Second I do not hate all Christians--only those who call themselves Christians but who speak and behave more like Apostates from Hell then genuine followers of Christ. Which, if you follow that logic, I'm really not hateful of Christians at all!
-----I was raised as a Southern Baptist, and some of my fondest memories stem from singing in my church choir and lending a hand with some fairly complicated musical arrangements. The sense of community, the sense of being loved by a just, loving Jesus was a great comfort during my teenage years, but, as the saying goes, "all good things must come to and end," and when I finally, finally read the King James Bible in its entirety, from start to finish, without having someone on hand to misinterpret what the text actually said, I realized that this supposedly "holy" book (the Old Testament and the Book of Revelations in particular) was nothing more than a tragic fiction filled with contradicting examples of love, hate, violence, and outright sadistic savagery--all in the name of a sanguinary God whose thirst for innocent human blood seemed and still seems insatiable.
-----I suppose that in some ways the Bible is a litmus test. Gentle, loving people, tend to believe in a gentle, loving God, while angry, hateful people believe in an angry, hateful God, and that brings me to the topic at hand.
-----In recent months I have come to the conclusion that mental illness is a prerequisite for membership in the Pseudo Christian Right. Has anyone here visited a website called Rapture Ready? For those of you who are unfamiliar with this on line insane asylum, it is nothing more than an over-glorified countdown to the Apocalypse.
-----I kid you not.
-----This is a site that was clearly created by delusional totalitarian fanatics for the "benefit" of delusional totalitarian fanatics. In many ways it reminds me of the old countdown to nuclear war, the old clock on which midnight represented an atomic holocaust, but with a major difference. While intelligent, rational human beings considered a global conflagration followed by a nuclear winter and the eventual extinction of human kind to be an undesirable chain of events, the sociopathic freaks and morons at Rapture Ready appear to experience something akin to sexual stimulation at the mere thought of Armageddon.
-----Is that an exaggeration? Not really. Within the last few weeks the folks over at Rapture Ready realized that they had pushed the envelope too far, because they published an apologetic piece of brain candy in which they explained that they and other Dominionists do not become gleeful when they think about death, destruction, and the eternal damnation of those who they so obviously love to hate--an interesting assertion when you consider the imbecilic image of happy sappy Christianists euphorically dancing in the light of their beloved, homicidal Jesus which appears in the upper right hand corner of the home page. Just look at the way these people have been acting since the situation inLebanon raised its ugly head. Good grief, these people are positively orgiastic. They really do believe that the deaths of innocent Lebanese civilians are less important that the deaths of holier than thou Christians. (Can you say racist?) At any moment I expect these dyed in the wool religion addicts to tilt their heads back, curl their toes, and moan a long, lustful "ohhhhhhhhh myyyyyyy GAAAAAHHHHHHHHD!" as they reach a psycho sexual climax over the deaths of innocent women and children. They are positively reveling in this conflict, openly celebrating the violence, death, and destruction because they truly believe it will bring them closer to the End Times and an eternity with Jesus. They quite literally seem to believe that the death of innocence is a good thing.
-----So tell me, Am I supposed to think of these twisted, demented monsters as genuine Christians?
-----Of course not. To quote Thomas Jefferson on the insane rantings of Calvin. "The being described in his five points is not the God whom you and I acknolege and adore, the Creator and benevolent governor of the world; but a daemon of malignant spirit. It would be more pardonable to believe in no god at all, than to blaspheme him by the atrocious attributes of Calvin." I can well imagine what Jefferson would say if he were to encounter the Fundamentalist maniacs who are currently trying to overthrow the American Republic: "The being described in right wing Christianity is not the God whom you and I adore, the creator and benevolent governor of the world, but a fascist dictator. It would be more pardonable to believe in no god at all than to blasphene him with the maniacal rantings of the fundamentalist right."
-----These accidents of evolution are only a fraction better than the right wing, fundamentalist Muslims who destroyed the twin towers on 9-11. The crazy right- wing Muslims look forward to their 72 virgins.* By the same token, the right-wing pseudo Christians want to hasten the time line for the end of the word, and go to Heaven, where they will serve at the right hand of God Almighty for all eternity. The crazy, fundamentalist Muslims hate gays and lesbians--ditto to right-wing pseudo Christians. The crazy right-wing Muslims believe women should be subservient to men--so does the right-wing pseudo Christians. The crazy right wing Muslims believe that they have the one and only interpretation of their sacred text--so do the right-wing pseudo Christians. The crazy right-wing Muslims are virulently anti-sex and hateful of those who do not share the same religious beliefs----so are the right-wing pseudo Christians and so on.
-----Do you get the idea that the term "American Taliban" is an accurately descriptive one?
-----That may sound harsh, but when you read the site, and others like it, you realize very quickly, that it is nothing ore than an on line celebration of religion-inspired violence coupled with Christo-fascist hate speech against gays and lesbians. Violence and homophobia wrapped in a cloak of "Christian" sociopathy: That's a real indicator of mental stability. "Dear Prince of Peace, Dear Loving Lord Jesus, please come back to earth and prove how loving and compassionate you really are by killing and condemning to eternal damnation everyone who either called you by the wrong name or who loved and slept with a religiously incorrect gender. To quote the site:
"The great, loving God doesn't want this for anyone. He has moved Heaven and Hell to bring all men, women and children to himself. He gave His only son, Jesus Christ. What greater thing could He give? But God created us with a free will. That is, we can choose to love and obey Him, or not. It is up to us."
Of course what the site fails to mention is that the Crucifixion, as presented in the Bible is little more than a very clever (and at times, not so clever) swindle. If we accept the idea that God (Christ) was/is a divine being, then it seems to me that we must also accept the premise that God (Christ) is both all powerful and all knowing. Never mind the fact that such a being, by its very nature, must either be a sadistic tyrant or a mindless bungler. If he has the power and the wisdom to cure mankind's ill but sits around and does nothing, then we are dealing with truly warped being which truly enjoys the torment of its flawed creation.
-----Think about it.
-----We're dealing with a God who supposedly posseses infinite ability and infinite knowledge, and yet, from the opening lines of Genesis, he clearly does not have an idea as to what will inevitably go astray in the Garden of Eden. And when things ultimately do go wrong, the Divine Author refuses to take responsibility for the innate flaw in his human creation. Does he demonstrate the so-called forgiveness that he supposedly shows in the New Testament?
-----No.
-----In a fit of rage, he expels Adam and Eve from Creation and then takes his own sweet time in establishing a code of ethics by which is creations can govern themselves. Translated into the common vernacular, he proves himself UNforgiving and does nothing for thousands of years while countless millions of human beings toil, suffer and die under his narrow minded regime. Only after thousands of years and millions of pointless deaths have passed does it occur to him that he can actually forgive his own creations. And then, if we take the Bible at face value, forgiveness is offered with so many strings attached under such strict, narrow terms that only 144,000 people out of countless billions will ever be saved. Some deluded minds consider this an act of love, which tells me that some people have a really sick idea as to what love and forgiveness are all about. Im sorry, my dear friends, but I cannot worship a psychopathic higher power with a serious personality disorder.
-----On the other hand if God cannot do something about the world situation, then it tells me that he is either not all knowing (in which case I cannot worship an ignorant God) or he is not all powerful (in which case I cannot worship an impotent, chest-thumping bully).
-----So what does this have to do with the crucifixion? Plenty, because when you read the New Testament it seems as if the proverbial apple has not fallen too far from the proverbial tree. I said that the crucifixion was an empty gesture devoid of meaning, and that is exactly what I intended to say.
-----What exactly did Jesus sacrifice? Granted, he a spent several agonizing hours on the cross, but if we accept the King James Bible at face value-or more accurately the Fundamentalist bastardization of the King James Bible--Jesus was the son of God. Certainly he must have had some idea as to what would happen after he arrived in Jerusalem. He must have known that he was destined to be crucified. Indeed, he predicts his own "death" and resurrection. And that raises an interesting question? How can the crucifixion be seen as a meaningful act of sacrifice when Christ knew in advance that he would be crucified and also knew that he would be raised from the dead? Had he actually died and NOT been resurrected we would have seen a meaningful sacrifice, but if you take the New Testament seriously Jesus not only ascends physically to Heaven, he will supposedly return in a cloud of glory to judge the living and the dead, How can we call this a meaningful sacrifice when Christ suffers no real consequences as the result of that sacrifice. In this regard Christ is less relative to our every day existance than the tireless doctors, nurses, and emergency response teams who put their lives on the line every day when the save their fellow human beings from fires, natural acts, or criminal actions.
-----You could argue that the pain and humiliation were a part of Christ's sacrifice, but how many innocent people have been whipped, dunked, stretched, poked, and prodded, and either hung or burned at the stake in His name? How many people have suffered for years on end from horrific terminal diseases? Could you not argue that thef suffering of Jesus was but a drop in the ocean compared to the suffering of millions upon millions of human beings? When you compare century after century of human agony against the torment that was suffered by Christ on the Cross, and when you consider the fact that Jesus quite literally ends up with more power and more prestige than he had to begin with, a logical mind must again conclude that the crucifixion was an empty gesture from a snake oil salesman of a God who is long on rhetoric but short on results.
And people wonder why I have drooped Christianity and moved on to a more rational view of the world.
-----On the one hand, these megalomaniacal followers of Jesus will tell you that their precious God is a loving, compassionate Savior who died for the sins of mankind. But then, and often in the same breath, they will tell you that the Prince of Peace is a jealous, right wing hatemonger who will severely punish anyone and everyone for the most minor of violations. That's a real hoot when you consider the fact that many of these congenital zealots engage in what many refer to as "cheap grace."
-----First, they accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior, then they supposedly receive forgiveness, and then they feel free to commit new sins and abuses because they have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. (If I were poor Jesus I would be getting awfully confused by this kind of contradictory misbehavior!) They never really experience guilt because they know they have been forgiven--and that only makes them more prone to commit new and even "greater" offenses because they know in their heart of blackest hearts that they have been given carte blanche to hate and persecute. They seldom bother with guilt for any real length of time because they have so cheapened the art of forgiveness into an irrelevent, ten second ritual in which any wrong doing is simply overlooked--especially if it is done to benefit their vengeful, incarnadine Big Daddy in the Sky.
-----And that's odd behavior when you consider the fact that this all too often these are the same people who accuse others of moral relativism. But then again, when you a malevolent sociopath in Christian clothing you really don't have to expect anything in the way of logic--nor for that matter, in the way of benevolence either.
-----In fact, I would even go so far as to suggest that if the so called Christian Right--which is neither Christian nor right about anything--wanted to engage in some long overdue truth in advertising, it would refer to itself as the Dysfunctional Satanic Right, and leave poor Jesus Christ alone for a change.

-----"Oh what a hell of a Heaven it's going to be whan all those hypocrites assemble up there!"
From Mark Twain Tonight by Mark Twain and Hal Holbrook


* I really have to wonder... When male, Muslim martyrs kill themselves and go to Heaven to meet their 72 virgins, will the same 72 virgins be serving every male Muslim who makes it to the great beyond, and if so, are they still considered virgins after they have been "deflowered?" Or, will each martyr be provided with his own, personal harem of obedient young maidens? At the same time I also wonder about female, martyrs and right wing Muslims who die and go to Heaven. Will they receive 72, drop dead pieces of beef cake for their devout time spent here on earth or will they still be required to wear those goddmaned veils and serve males with a sense of pride and obedience? Just curious.

Daniel G