Monday, December 05, 2005

I am Royally P.O.ed

It is official. I am now royally pissed off.

It is 1:07 p.m. Central time. I had a 9:00 a.m. appointment with Allison's doctor. She'd had a case of the sniffles for the past few weeks and it seemed to be getting worse, so I figured, "okay, time to demand a face to face appointment with the doctor instead of another telephone conversation in which I keep getting the same old run around."

So what went wrong?

Where would you like to begin?

First, this eye, ear, nose, and wallet man kept me waiting for the better part of 120 minutes. Maybe it's me, but I was raised by punctual parents who believed that when you make an appointment for 9:00 a.m. you get your ass in the doctor's office at least five minutes early, so that you won't miss our appointment.

This morning was no different. The office opens at 8:30 a.m. and I was there by 8:47 on his clock. And yet, I didn't get in to see him until 10:55 a.m. During that time Alison began to cry. At first I thought she needed changing, but that wasn't the case. As it turned out she was hungry; so being the dedicated mother that I am I decicded to feed my daughter.

I've been breast feeding this child since we brought her home from the hospital a few months ago; and since there is a Wisconsin law which grants us the right to nurse our children in public, I decided it would be a better idea to nurse her than to let her scream, go hungry, and upset the entire waiting room full of waiting patients. Luckily, Alison settled down, and fed quietly. But now the damned fool sitting three seats away from me decided that he wanted to have a hissy fit because I was breast feeding my infant daughter.

After an off color remark about how natural breast feeding is "indecent," I decided that this guy--who had to be at least 47 to 50 years old--probably never STOPPED breast feeding, although I didn't express that feeling right off the bat. Noooo, it took a remark about my "spoiled little brat," before I tossed out well-deserved comment about the Wisconsin law which protects my right to nurse.

Now this wasn't as if I were flaunting a bare breast. I very carefully made certain that both Allison, and the offending organ (which shouldn't have been offensive at all) were well-concealed under a light blanket, so I really have to wonder.

Was this immature, brainless wonder upset by what he saw or what he didn't see? Considering the degree of emotional immaturity that I saw in this "person" I suspect the latter. To make a long story short, the bonehead kept sputtering under his breath until the receptionist announced my name and I was able to get away from this male chauvanistic oinker.

Thankfully, my doctor was fully supportive of my right to breast feed. He should have been--we would have been home for her mid morning feeding if the stupid little man had actually been on time. But then, as if to rub salt into an already open wound, he gives my daughter a quick, five minute exam, and informs me that she probably has a minor cold and that it isn't anything to worry about. That made me feel a little better.

As I left the office, I asked this quack if he had been held up to handle an emergency at one of the local hospitals. I figured he wouldn't have been late for a trivial reason.

Boy did I have THAT one wrong.

"Noooo.," my doctor responded. "My wife and I kind of over celebrated at our wedding anniversary last night and I came in a little late this morning.

By this time I'm ready to lose it. The imbecile with whom I have trusted my daughter's health has just admitted that he got sloshed the night before and came in late with a flippin' hangover.

Maybe I offended someone by breastfeeding in my doctor's waiting room, but I really can't sign off without saying what I've been thinking all morning.

Will the real boob please stand up?




Rhino-itall said...

Karen said...

Okay, but what did YOU think?

Thje article kind of bounced back and forth and I wasn't too sure as to what you thought about the issue....Although I can't imagine you being too offended by a bare breast.

shrimplate said...

Makes me glad your pediatrician isn't a neurosurgeon.

Rhino-itall said...

well, i don't know why you have to make me out to be a pig... i'm a rhino, we're similar to pigs but more discreet. i sent you the link because your story reminded me of it. I think the guy was probably an idiot, but i don't want to judge him without any real knowledge of the situation. I'll need some pics of the offending body parts before i can give you my official position. ;)

Karen said...

I was only teasing. I really don't think you're a pig. In fact I didn't say so.

As for viewing the organ in question, you'll have to clear that with my husband. I think that might be a resounding no.

ButI got a kick out of the closing line. I may not agree with you politically but I think you'd be a fun guy to have for a neighbor!

Care to babysit on Saturday night? Kyle's boss is having an early Christmas Party and....

Kyle said...

You mean Rhino agreed to baby sit? That is way cool! Thank him for me!

Karen said...

I thought it was nice of him.

Just a few basics. Little Kyle tends to sleep like a log, you won't have too much trouble with him at all. If he wakes up just read him one of the Doctor Seuss or Franklin books. He's a little young for it, but he's a sucker for a good reader.

Allison might be a little fussy with this cold and all, but she should settle down after awhile.

The pampers are on the chest of drawes, there's formula in the fridge (I don't expect you to breast feed!) Just heat it to where it's luke warm on your wrist.

Tammy is a little older and you'll have to keep her entertained. She loves a good read, and there are plenty of children's books on the coffee table.

If that doesn't work you'll have to entertain her the best way you know how.

We should be back at eleven. If there are any problems the doctor's number is by the telephone. 911 is always an option, and you can call us at...

Thanks much Rhinohue! You're a real peach!

Rhino-itall said...

you don't want me around your children, you know i would turn them to the dark side.

Karen said...

They're a little to young to comprehend the basics of national and international politics. You'll be fine.

Oh, nad by the way--feel free to use the entertainment center. We don't serve liquor, but you can help yourself to whatever is in the fridge.


Karen said...

nad = and

Karen said...

It's been fun, but I have to get dinner going. Thanks for a pleasant diversion. I dont get too many afternoons that are this quiet where I can just kick back and have a little fun.


Kate said...

Not that this conversation isn't ROYALLY interesting, but...

I do have a comment about the topic at hand...

I think it's just another way to evidence the fact that America is a rather prudish nation. Something like this probably wouldn't happen in Europe--I'm fairly sure it wouldn't be an issue, just because sexuality and the human body are both regarded so differently. While I don't want to blame it entirely on the Christian Right (because that would actually be unfair), I think Christianity has played a large part in our attitudes toward anything "beneath the sheets," as it were. I mean, after all: what's so bad about seeing a boob here or there? Are these people just SO afraid it's going to whip someone up into such a sexual frenzy that they're going to...I don't know, like throw the woman in question on the floor and just--for lack of a better term--boink her brains out? Come on, people...let's have a little common sense...that only happens in the pages of Cosmo... ;)

And hey...I wanna babysit...*sniff, sniff*

Karen said...

And what really miffs me off is the fact that your comment was more interesting than my post!

Rhino-itall said...

why is it christianity? i don't think christians are anti breast feeding. michele malkin is part of the "vast right wing conspiracy" and she's religious (flips are very catholic)she's in favor of breast feeding, AND home schooling! and her article was about barbara walters and some of the other pretty people who were offended by it. i'm sure wawa isn't considered part of the christian right. right???

Anonymous said...

what branch of the commie party do you belong to and which mental hospital did you excape from? You need some kind of medication to calm you down and help you think straight, I feel so sorry for people who feel so much anger and are so much out of control, there is help for you, you know, it's called the Republican Party, take a dose and go to bed and maybe you will wake up and you won't feel so bad about life, you poor thing.

Kelli said...

Dear Katie.

I know I'm supposed to send these questions to our email address butwe have a situation on our hands. We recently lost our family pet. It's a cross between a syphilis infected chimpzanee and a gonnorrhea infected bonobo. His hobbies include swinging from vines, grooming his fellow primates, and picking his own body lice with his feet. He answers to the name of anonymous and he was last seen heading in the direction of the nearest cross burning, which he probably mistook for a meeting of our local Republican Party.

If any of your readers have seen him, please return him to us at once before he distorts the truth and self-judges again.