Monday, March 13, 2006

DONALD RUM'FELD'S LOONY STRIKE FORCE BAND



            Donald Rumsfeld's Loony Strike Force Band
 

DONALD RUM'FELD'S LOONY STRIKE FORCE BAND!  

 

Based on "Sergeant Pepper"s Lonely Hearts Club Band"

 

By John Lennon and Paul McCartney.   

 

New lyrics by Jeff and Brandon

 

It was 30 months ago tonight

Donald Rummy sent the boys to fight

And he says he's never gonna be foiled

But we know it's all about the oil

So may we introduce to you

The lies you've known for all these years!

Donald Rum'feld's Loony Strike Force Band!

 

They're Donald Rum'felds Loony Strike Force Band

They hope you will enjoy his war

They're Donald Rum'feld's loony Strike Force Band

They're laughing as they go too far!

 

Donald Rum'feld's Loony

Donald Rum'feld's Loony

Donald Rum'feld's Loony Strike Force Band

 

It's horrible to be there

They sure do love to kill

We're such a trusting foolish bunch

They want a brand now power bass

They want to stay in power!

 

They don't really wanna stop the war!

And they're never gonna stop the gore!

So people go along for now

No one's ever gonna ask him how

 

So let us introduce to you

The lies we've known for all these years

Donald Rum'feld's Loony Strike Force Band!

 

 

 

WITH A TOM DELAY FROM MY FRIENDS

 

  To be sung to the tune of "With a Little Help From My Friends,"

 

by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.   

 

New lyrics by Jeff and Brandon

 

What would you do if I told a damned lie?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?

What would you do if I salted the votes?

Would you change the old rules to help me?

 

I get off with a Tom Delay from my friends

I get off with a couple lies from my friends

I'll play golf with a little help from my friends

 

What would you do if I redrew the lines

Does it worry you to think I'd win?

How do you feel when I toss out the rules?

Will the court still try and stick its nose in?

 

No I get off with a Tom Delay from my friends

I get off with a couple lies from my friends

Going to bribe with a little help from my friends

 

Did I fool anybody?

Enough to Speak for the House

I deceive everybody!

They'll never know I'm a louse

 

Would you believe I'm a really nice guy

If I handed you a couple of thou?

What would you do if I threatened a judge?

Would you bother to ask why and how?

 

Oh I get off with a Delay from my friends!

Oh I get off with a couple lies from my friends!

Going to bribe with a little help from my friends

 

I don't need anybody!

The Congress can go straight to hell

I'm above everybody 

I'll get a new lie to sell

 

Oh I get off with a Delay from my friends

Oh I get off with a couple lies from my friends

Going to bribe with a little help from my friends

Oh get off with a little help from my friends

With a Delay from my friends!

 

 

KEEPING YOU ALIVE FOR NOTHING

 

Based on "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds"

 

By John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

New lyrics by Jeff and Brandon

 

Picture yourself on a hospital daybed

A tube in your side, your E.E.G . flat

Suddenly someone is there his morals

A Neocon says, "You can't die just yet."

Monitors beeping, machines pump your blood,

Oxygen goes to your head

Your body is living,your brain is done in

You're not gone

 

CHORUS

Keeping you alive to suffer!

Keeping you alive for nothing!

Keeping you alive for ever

Ohhhh ohhhhh

 

Instruments prodding and needles are poking

Doctors and nurses are keeping you here

Suddenly Congress is there with an order

The right wing breeds more hate and fear

Machines do your breathing, you can't on your own

Your kidney shut down long ago

Your heart never beats machines do that too

You're not gone

 

CHORUS

Repeat CHORUS and fade

 

 

 

 

IRAQI FIELDS FOREVER

 

Based on"Strawberry Fields Forever"

 

By John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

New Lyrics by Jeff and Brandon

 

CHORUS

Let me drag you down

Where you're goin' to

Iraqi fields

Oil surreal

It's something we can fight about

Iraqi fields forever

 

Life ain't so easy after one-one

We live in fear of all we see

We're a democracy but we're getting it all wrong

We'll never let you disagree

 

CHORUS

 

Living is simple with blinds on

No massive weapons that you can see

We say we're going there to bring a tyrant down

What's gonna be is gonna be

 

CHORUS

 

Bechtel has fun with a war on

But Haliburton plays for free

The bodies pile high and I guess that it's kinda wrong

Don't really matter much to me

 

CHORUS

 

Fading instrumental overdubbed with clips and snippets of Bush speeches

 

 

 

WE ALL LIVE IN A NAZI LOONY BIN

 

 Based on "Yellow Submarine"

 

By John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

New Lyrics by Jeff and Brandon

 

In the town where George was born

No one told him what he should be

But he threw away his life

Smoking weed that was so green

So he prayed unto the Son

But he found the old Regime

And he ruled as if reborn

In a land that wasn't free

 

CHORUS:

We all live in a Nazi loony bin!

A Nazi loony bin!

A Nazi loony bin!

U.S.A. is a Nazi loony bin!

A Nazi loony bin!

A Nazi loony bin

 

And his friends are all adored

Only one of them, a m,ale wore

And the press begins to sing

 

[Opening bars of Deutschland Deutschland Uber Alles played by an out of tune German marching band, then directly into....]

 

CHORUS, leading directly into...

 

[Instrumental performance of the opening verse overdubbed with excerpts from a Nazi Party Rally, replete with Hitler bellowing and a crowd shouting "Sieg Heil!   Seig Heil!"  This is to be overdubbed with the sounds of Stuka's dive bombing, machine gun fire, and bombs exploding, leading directly back into....]

 

And the times are full of sleaze

While the Neocons do as they please

And he lives a life of ease

Killing young G.I.s can be a breeze

 

CHORUS

Repeat CHORUS and fade

 

 

 

TRANNY, YOU'RE A SWITCH, MA'AM

 

Based on"Baby You're A Rich Man"

 

by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

By the Coalition for a Republican-Free America

 

How would you like to be?
One of the feminine people?

Now that we know just what you are?

Who do you want to be?

Now that you're following a star

Acting so unnaturally

 

How would you like to be

One of the feminine people?

Preaching your hypocrisy

What do you want to say

Being the gal you hope to be

Hoping to find your way

 

CHORUS:

Tranny you're a switch ma'am

Coulter you're a bitch, ma'am

Were you once a butch man too?

You keep all your hormones on a bathroom shelf

All by yourself, all for yourself

Tranny you're a witch ma'am

Coulter you're a bitch ma'am

Were you once a butch man too?

 

Why are your hands too big

Why is your voice so deep?

Now that you've gone so far away

Half truth is your fine art

Telling us that you haven't changed

Taking the facts apart

 

CHORUS

 

Repeat CHORUS AND FADE

 

 

GOPIGGIES

Based on "Piggies

By George Harrison

New Lyrics by Jeff and Brandon

 

Have you seen the GOPiggies

Screwing up our rights?
All we see are GOPiggies

Making a new Reich

Have the Bill of Rights to fuck around with

 

Hear the Bible-thumping piggies

Tell us what to do

Are you tired of GOPiggies

Bitching me and you

Always have a group to spew their hate at

 

In the House with right wing backing

They pass laws that keep people down

Listen to the lines they're cracking

In their minds there's something lacking!

 

Watching all the GOPiggies

Messing up the world
Neocons and GOPiggies

Chaos in a swirl

Always find a way to spread their hatred

 

ISN'T IT GREAT?

Based on "Norweigian Wood"

By John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

New lyrics by Daniel and Brandon

 

I just found a God

Or should I say

Jesus found me

He taught me to prey

It's not too late

Isn't it great?

 

He told me to preach and he told me to bitch ev'ry where

I use the Good Book and it told me to hate but not share

 

Now I disdain blacks

Mexicans too

No love for Jews

And I spit on fags

Never ask why

Just let 'em die

 

Yes Jesus has changed me, The Lord God has shown me his work'

My friends have all left me they think I've become such a jerk.

 

What else can I do?

All things will pass

Kissing God's ass

So, I prey all day

Seething in hate

Isn't it great?

 

 

HERE TO STAY

 

Based on "Yesterday"

 

By John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

New lyrics by Jeff and Brandon

 

Yesterday

George was wasted nearly ev'ry day

But the High Court said he's here to stay?
Oh George sure likes to get his way.

 

Ever more

In election year two thousand four

The Swifty Liars did a whole lot more

And threw away the votes galore


CHORUS:

How he came to win we're not sure, he will not say

George did something wrong, now the ass is here to stay

 

Suddenly

George ain't the Christian that he claimed to be

Praising policies of brute savagery

Oh George turned Reich wing suddenly

 

CHORUS

 

Ever more

Now they cozy up with male whores

Give the right wing press a whole lot more

To make him Fuhrer ever more

 

 

 

CAN BUY ME POWER

 

Based on "Can't Buy Me Love"

 

by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

New lyrics by Brandon

 

Can buy me power!

Oh  Power

Can buy me power!

 

I'll buy a Congressman my friend

if it gets me what I need!

I'll pay a couple thousand bucks

I don't care if it looks like greed

Cause I sure do, love to count the money

Money can buy me power


I'll give you a little extra cash

If you give me tax cuts too

Youi know I got a lot to give

I'm so deeply into you

 

I sure do love to count the money

Money can buy me power

Can buy me power

Listen as I tell you so

Can buy me power

Yeah yeah yeah-yeah

 

Say you'll vote the way I tell you too

To keep me satisfied

Say you'll pass the kind of right wing bills

That cash can surely buy

 

I sure do love to count the money

Money can buy me power

Buy me power

Listen as I tell you so

Can buy me power

Yeah yeah yeah-yeah

 

Say you don't want no clean air too

I'll help you on the take

Say you don't want pure water too

More poisons in your lakes

I sure love to count the money

Money can buy me power


Can buy me power

Oh power

Bouy me power yeah!

 

 

 

WHEN I'M SIXTY-FIVE

(THE SOCIAL SECURITY DEFORM SONG)

 

Based on "When I'm Sixty-Four"

 

by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

by Jeff and Brandon

 

When I get older

Losing my home

Not too long from now

Will you still be sending a security check

Will the system be broken to heck?

If I'm broke with noting to eat

Would you give me jive

Would you still pay me?

Would you delay me?

When I'm sixty-five

 

 

You'll be broken tooo

And if you get smart now

Social can stay too.

 

I could go begging, hat in my hand

When the checks are gone

Maybe eat some cat food from the doggie dish

Hoping, praying, make a new wish

Lighting a candle, the power is off

Trying to stay alive

Will you still pay me?
Will you delay me?

When I'm sixty-five

 

Every winter we can beg a shelter from

     the County Home if its not to near

Food stamps are all done

Thank you Necons

 

Scrimping on clothing

Dropping the meds

Feeling not too well

Indicate exactly what you mean to pay

Getting weary, passing away

 

Send me an answer,

Mail a form

While I'm still alive

Will you still pay me?
Will you delay me?

When I'm sixty-five?

 

 

LORD OF THE KILL

 

Based on "The Continuing Story ofBungalow Bill"

 

By John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

New lyrics by Brandon and Danny

 

CHORUS

Hey, Lord of the Kill!

Did what you will

George of the Kill

Hey, Lord of the Kill

Did what you will,

George of the Kill

 

He went campaigning with a smirk, a lie, and Carl Rove

He broke the bottle and he prayed to God above

But found a gospel based on hate instead of love

Listen to the lies

 

CHORUS

 

He said he would unify he never would divide

And then we went to war with facts he could not hide

More people die each day, George takes it all in stride

Listen to the lies

 

CHORUS

 

He said we'd wage a war for weapons that weren't there

He said we'd fight this thing 'cause Hussein couldn't care

If it's for Freedom I wish he'd leave a little here!

Listen to the lies


CHORUS

Repeat CHORUS and fade

 

CHORUS

Repeat CHORUS and fade

 

 

 

GOD GAYS AND GUNS

(ALL YOU NEED IS GUNS)

 

Based on "All You Need is Love"

 

By John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

New Lyrics by Daniel Gallagher

 

(Opening fanfare, opening bars of " Deutschland, Deutschland Uber Alles" on trumpets and brass, leading directly into....)

 

God!  Gays!  Guns! 

God!   Gays!  Guns!

God!   Gays!  Guns!

 

Leaders as we know can all be bought

Take the cash and run but don't get caught

Bitch about the queers and say they're only so depraved

It's easy!

 

Hear the NRA and you'll be saved

Praise Our God and bitch about the gays

Hear the NRA and you'll forever go insane

It's easy!

 

CHORUS

All you need is God!

All you need is guns!

All you need is God, guns

Bitch about the gays

 

 

Thank the NRA you're so depraved

Thank the Sweet Lord God that you've been saved

It's fun to skirt the issues when you can hide behind three G's

It's easy!   

 

All you need is God!

All you need is guns!

All you need is God, guns

Bitch about the gays

 

All you need is God!

All you need is guns!

All you need is God, Guns!

Bitch about the gays.

 

FADE OUT WITH

God is all you need

Guns are all you need,

God is all you need

Guns are all you need,

(We hate you Yeah! Yeah!   Yeah!

We hate you Yeah!   Yeah!  Yeah!)

God is all you need

Guns are all we need....

 

 

 

DONALD RUMFELD'S INNER GROVE

 

Based on Sergeant Pepper Inner Grove

 

By John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

New lyrics by Brandon

 

We like like hell to get our way

We like like hell to get out way

we like like hell to get our way....

 

 

 

3 comments:

LILY BRANFORD said...

Funny, guys! Does my Beatle-loving heart proud. I like GOP Piggies, but Switch Man is my second.

Advocate1 said...

Actually our first effort was our favorite. For those of you who aren't familiar with the situation around here, Brandon and I happened upon this by accident. We were washing and drying the dishes one evening. I had introduced him to the Beatles a few weeks before and we were playing REVOLVER while we worked the dishes. One of us (guilty!) started to sing "We all live in a Nazi Loony Bin" to the tune of "Yellow Submarine." It would have died right there, but Brandon came up with a new first verse to go with my chorus. I did a second verse, and before we knew what had happened we had a song parody. At this point we came up with the idea of doing the entire album. We discvovered quickly that not every song on the album lended itself to political satire.(Translated into modern English, we wanted to do our favorite songs.) Then Danny wanted in and the next thing we knew we had in fact done the entire album.

We're glad someone out there enjoyed it. After "Nazi Loony Bin" I would have to sy that my favorite is Danny's take on Norwegian Wood.

Peace

Advocate 1

Ragnarok said...

Classic! Norwegian Wood happens to be my favourite Beatles track anyway but I like the parody just as much. *ahem* It's pray.... (pedant)